The Sangster Report

He's A Muslim!

2011-11-30T18:32:00.000-06:00

Suppose I better go ahead and come out of this dressing/Honeybaked Ham-induced coma.

The world turns.

Hope everyone's Thanksgiving holidays, however you spent them, were fucking splendid.

Mine was.

I turned 25.

I can rent a fucking car!

Less important things happened last week too, I guess..

Early in the week, results were released from a Fairleigh Dickinson University poll that suggests Fox News viewers are less informed about current events than people who watch "The Daily Show" or no news at all.

Gasp!

A bit more than 600 adults in New Jersey were asked how they get their news, along with a series of factual questions about major events of the last year. Anything from the wave of protests and demonstrations in the Arab world to the Republican race for president.

"The results show us that there is something about watching Fox News that leads people to do worse on these questions than those who don't watch any news at all," said Dan Cassino, a political science professor at Fairleigh Dickinson.

Thanks, Dan.

Fuckin' douche.

Couldn't whatever resources you used for this endeavor have been put toward drawing a conclusion that anyone who doesn't deserve to be shot hasn't already drawn themselves?

The Daily Show
Get More: Daily Show Full Episodes,Political Humor & Satire Blog,The Daily Show on Facebook

Listening to Jon Stewart > Reading about some stupid ass survey.

To be fair, the favorite network of about 2 million people did take a little undeserved flak last week.

Megyn Kelly, host of Fox News's "America Live," was mocked all throughout the Interwebs for saying pepper spray was "essentially" a food product because "it's a derivative of actual pepper."

Kelly's comment came after being asked on Fox News's "The O'Reilly Factor" about law enforcement's treatment of Occupy protesters at UC Davis.

Meg was right about the pepper spray...sorta kinda. It's made from the same naturally-occurring chemical that makes chili peppers hot, but at much higher concentrations. So, ya know, I'll give her that. Whatever.

But am I the only one who sees something wrong with a Fox News personality interviewing another Fox News personality..on Fox News?

Bill O'Reilly: Sure, I'll let you be a guest on my show!

Speaking of pepper spray, who's got two thumbs and didn't get chili-peppered in the face at a Walmart on Black Friday?!

I just wish all of us were so lucky.

Also last week, us lowly ol' black folk now have something to do other than eat chicken and defraud American social welfare programs. The NBA lockout is over, and fans can now look forward to a 66-game season beginning on Christmas Day.

Yay! Just what I wanted for Christmas...a bunch of high-priced commodities caving to the demands of a small group of selfish billionaires!

Haven't Derek Fisher and the boys learned anything from the 99 percent?

All jokes aside though..

Eating chicken and lying for food stamps isn't all we do.

Let's quit it with the perpetuating of silly stereotypes.

Haven't you white devils done enough damage?

Throughout time and up to this point in history, you have collectively been racist enough that now, the mere perception of racism can contribute to depression, anxiety, or other adverse effects on our mental health.

It's almost 2012 people. Can't we all just love each other despite our differences?

(Los Angeles Times [2])

Why Does Every Black Actor Gotta Rap Some?

2011-11-16T19:04:00.001-06:00

Hot like a parked car.
I sound weird like nigger with the hard 'R'...

Bonfire
by Childish Gambino
on CAMP

I Enjoy Young People

2011-11-16T15:12:00.001-06:00

"Horseplay? Are you fucking kidding us?!"

The Daily Show with Jon Stewart
Get More: Daily Show Full Episodes,Political Humor & Satire Blog,The Daily Show on Facebook

Crikey!

2011-11-16T13:49:00.001-06:00

Police in Pennsylvania have arrested Oscar Ramiro Ortega-Hernandez, suspected in Friday night's shooting near the White House and Washington Monument.

According to Arlington County Police Lt. Joe Kantor, Ortega had been stopped earlier that morning for some sort of unspecified suspicious activity.

After witnesses heard shots that night, police found a crashed car near Theodore Roosevelt Bridge and say Ortega had been driving it. Investigators allegedly found a semi-automatic weapon and shell casings inside the vehicle.

The 21-year-old apparently has a history of criminal activity in three states as well, ranging from drug charges to assaults on law enforcement officers.

The arrest occurred hours after the Secret Service reported that two bullets had hit the White House Tuesday -- one of them apparently cracking a window on the residential level.

In a statement, however, the Secret Service says, "This damage has not been conclusively connected to Friday's incident."

Meanwhile, in the midst of a nine-day trip to Hawaii, Australia and Indonesia, the president is all prepared to receive his crocodile insurance..

Because...ya know...why not?

Prehistoric Ice Man
Get More: SOUTH
PARK more...

(CNN, USA Today)

Music Is The Key

2011-11-15T20:38:00.001-06:00

These rappers talkin' shit, when they shit is all wack.
Yeah, I said it on wax...

Pranks 4 Players
by Mac Miller (featuring Sir Michael Rocks)
on I Love Life, Thank You

Fool, Take Advice

2011-11-15T19:51:00.001-06:00

You would think we was slangin' 'caine out this thang,
The only thing dope is the rhymes...

Luxury Sport

by Curren$y (featuring Sir Michael Rocks)

I Guess He Didn't Like The Way I Did It

2011-11-14T09:03:00.001-06:00

Is it too late to take back what I said about the Bears/Lions game Sunday?

What's The Third One?

2011-11-14T08:27:00.001-06:00

If you missed last week's debate between Republican presidential hopefuls Michele Bachmann, Herman Cain, Newt Gingrich, Jon Huntsman, Ron Paul, Rick Perry, Mitt Romney and Rick Santorum...

...well, my guess is you just had better things to do.

I, for one, took an hour-long shit when the CBS broadcast began, and couldn't have felt better about it.

Theoretically, I could've caught the last half hour of the 90-minute debate. But the network (understandably) decided that the last third of this awful reality show didn't really matter.

"Looking [forward] to Dec. 10 ABC News/Iowa GOP debate, where all 90 minutes will be shown on broadcast network TV," tweeted Iowa Republican Party Chairman Matt Strawn after most CBS affiliates across the country switched to reruns of better quality viewing, and the poor fools who wanted to see the last 30 minutes were expected to go to a live Internet feed.

But according to CBS spokeswoman Sonya McNair, an unexpectedly large audience caused the network's stream to be choppy.

("unexpectedly large"...LOL)

"CBS Debate tonight was pure amateur hour -- with CBS being the amateurs," tweeted North Carolina state Rep. Glen Bradley.

Sooo...the good people of CBS were the amateurs?

...not that guy?

Ok.

(Politico, Mediaite)

Niggers!

2011-11-14T08:17:00.001-06:00

It's shit like this, white people...

I mean, I'm all about racial humor in our "post-racist" Obamanation...but really?

Like, really?

You're not even trying.

Dead Bodies In Lake Michigan

2011-11-13T11:45:00.001-06:00

It's about 60 degrees and cloudy as fuck here in Chicago.

Beautiful.

...And it will be even more beautiful watching all of the depressed looks on the faces of Bears fans at Solider Field while those Lions from the Dirty D get in that ass.

Detroit State of Mind (Live)
by Elzhi
on Elmatic

Wait

2011-11-13T11:26:00.001-06:00

Yep...

More from Batman: The Animated Series!

How could I forget how awesome this show was?! #gettingold

Who Are You?

2011-11-13T11:22:00.001-06:00

Again...don't ask..

Me Want To Eat

2011-11-13T11:11:00.001-06:00

This is what happens when you get lost on YouTube:

...

Don't ask why I found both of these hilarious..

Good Morning!

2011-11-12T09:19:00.001-06:00

It Gets No Realer Than This

2011-11-11T18:24:00.001-06:00

This should've been a double album commemorative disc,

'Cause hip-hop might need us...

Hiding Place
by Little Brother
on The Minstrel Show

Life As Shorty Shouldn't Be So Rough

2011-11-11T18:19:00.001-06:00

C.R.E.A.M.
by Wu-Tang Clan
on Enter The Wu-Tang (36 Chambers)

We Never Do Listen

2011-11-10T22:11:00.000-06:00

A.D.H.D.
by Kendrick Lamar
on Section.80

Lost On A Road

2011-11-10T21:50:00.000-06:00

Lost
by Gorilla Zoe
on Don't Feed da Animals

You Only Live Once, That's The Motto

2011-11-10T08:26:00.001-06:00

I mean, maybe she won't, then again maybe she will.
I can almost guarantee she know the deal...

The Motto
by Drake (featuring Lil Wayne)

Kato Kaelin's Not Fighting 'Cuz Michael Lohan's In Jail!

2011-11-10T08:20:00.003-06:00

Reality TV star Michelle Duggar of TLC's 19 Kids and Counting will soon force the network to change the show's name to 20 Kids and Counting or 20 Kids and I'm Fucking Done or somethin'.

That's right.

This perfectly reasonable woman is expecting her 20th goddamn child in April.

And three OB/GYN's, Yvonne Bohn, Allison Hill and Alane Park, think this is all bad.

Since Michelle's last baby was born three months prematurely, due to severe preeclampsia, and weighed only 1 pound 6 ounces, the doctors say she will be jeopardizing her and her unborn child's lives.

There is a 40 percent chance that during this pregnancy, Michelle will again experience preeclampsia -- or, hypertension of pregnancy -- a disease responsible for 15 percent of maternal deaths worldwide, and can cause stroke, seizures, liver rupture or respiratory failure.

The surgical risks of a fifth cesarean section are also a concern, but whatever...this foolish lady got me to thinking about two baby-making machines worth caring about.

Kate Gosselin, like a normal parent, prefers to wait until her children are out of the womb before risking their lives.

A few days ago, while chillin' in the drivers' seat of her minivan as her eight bundles of joy moved from their school bus into the whip, one of those little brats decided to climb under the van.

"Let's see what they say about this on Entertainment Tonight, bitch!"

Lucky for Kate, someone was right there to take pictures.

My guess is she did some foul shit, and this kid just decided to wait for the most opportune moment to do something ridiculous and give mama a little PR headache.

But who knows?

Everyone's other favorite professional birth-giver, Nadya Suleman beat up on Amy Fisher Sunday in a "celebrity" boxing match.

"I feel like I'm at a Muhammad Ali/Joe Frazier fight!"

(The Daily Beast, Us Weekly, The Daily Mail)

Bitch, I Don't Know You

2011-11-09T10:20:00.000-06:00

"I don't even know who this woman is," declared Herman Cain at a news conference Tuesday about his latest alleged sexual harassment victim Sharon Bialek.

"I tried to remember if I recognized her and I didn't," said the GOP's favorite Negro of the fourth woman to accuse him of unwanted sexual advances.

Can't blame the guy for trying, right?

Cain said he called the news conference because he wanted to speak directly to the public, accusing the media of distorting his response to the allegations.

"As far as these accusations causing me to back off and maybe withdraw from this presidential primary race? Ain't gonna happen."

Fuck.

"The media is just itching to be able to make up more stories about how my campaign is faltering," Cain said in an email blast to supporters.

Maybe he's right. Maybe America's liberal media just needs to stop deliberately trying to assassinate his character and get some fuckin' perspective.

I mean, even ol' B.C., arguably the country's best president in 20 or so years, got a beej in the Oval Office.

Why all the hooplah over Cain's sexual misadventures?

Shouldn't the media focus on more telling signs of his inability to run a country?

...like his goddamn lack of intelligence.

In Third Grade All I Used To Do Was Sniff Glue

2011-11-09T09:38:00.000-06:00

"There is certainly still a myth out there that black kids are more likely to have problems with drugs than white kids..."

No way. Fuck outta here with that.

Wait, what? You want me to let you finish Dr. Dan Blazer?

Sorry about that. Go for it.

"...[a Duke University-led study] documents as clearly as any study we're aware of that the rate of...substance-related disorders among African-American youths is significantly lower."

Based on analysis of confidential federal surveys of 72,561 adolescents ages 12 to 17 from 2005 through 2008, Blazer and Duke's psychiatry department found that about 9 percent of the white kids in the study sample used substances in ways that indicated they had a disorder, meaning abuse or dependency -- nearly twice that of black kids, and about three times the percentage for a group classified as Asian/Pacific Islander.

Marijuana and prescription opioids such as oxycodone were the most prevalent vices.

No offense to my white friends out there, but is anyone else as unsurprised as I am?

(Scripps Howard News Service)

I Reminisce So You Never Forget This

2011-11-09T09:06:00.000-06:00

They Reminisce Over You (T.R.O.Y.)
by Pete Rock & C.L. Smooth
on Mecca and the Soul Brother

I Love The Way I Am

2011-11-09T08:53:00.000-06:00

Rest in peace Dwight Arrington Myers, a.k.a. Heavy D.

The 44-year-old rapper/actor collapsed in his Beverly Hills home Tuesday morning before being pronounced dead at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center.

Rightfully so, all corners of the hip-hop community are mourning the premature loss of a man who began his recording career in 1987 with the album Living Large alongside his boys G-Whiz, Trouble T. Roy and Eddie F, and went on to help shape the genre.

Hev's last Twitter message, posted late Monday: "BE INSPIRED!"

Mr. Big Stuff (Remix)
by Heavy D & the Boyz
on Living Large

Two Slices

2011-11-08T20:13:00.003-06:00

This thing looks completely unnecessary...

...but I still want one.

Among other things, this 7.5 pound, Radio Raheem-inspired behemoth features a class "D" amp coupled to 4-inch carbon composite woofers and 1-inch dome tweeters, an Aux-in jack for the uncool kids with no iPod or iPhone, a graphic equalizer with LCD display, and a goddamn FM Tuner.

I mean, Christmas is coming up...so...ya know...if anyone wants to drop $200 on me, I wouldn't complain.

(Gizmodo)

He Had It Coming

2011-11-08T11:45:00.000-06:00

An 87-year-old Missouri woman has been charged and is in jail after shooting her 88-year-old husband.

"He had it coming. He was cheating on me." Dorothy Desjardins told detectives.

Dorothy allegedly put a bullet in husband Peter's right arm using a .22-caliber revolver after confronting him about a suspected affair with her hairdresser.

Peter Desjardins told authorities he was in bed when his wife walked into the room and began to throw books at him before picking up the gun.

Assistant Prosecutor Matthew Russell said his office had little choice but to charge and jail the elderly woman. Another option would have been to release Dorothy, but because she didn't have any other family and her bond requires her to stay away from her home, she would have nowhere else to go.

Ok, wow.

I'm not sure which is the weirdest part about this absolute WTF of a story:

a) An 87-year-old woman is in jail after randomly walking into a room and throwing books at her husband before shooting at his face (Peter told detectives his right arm was covering his face when the gun went off).

b) An 88-year-old man is apparently having sex with someone.

(The Springfield News-Leader)

This World Is Chaotic

2011-11-08T10:54:00.000-06:00

Bulletproof
by Raheem DeVaughn (featuring Ludacris)
on The Love & War Masterpeace

I'll Be Straight

2011-11-08T10:18:00.000-06:00

Cuz I ain't even got enough cheese to try to match dude, nor do I got a flat to bring you back to.
But, I can roll up a blunt and try to relax you...

First Things First
by Blu & Exile
on Below the Heavens

Good Old Days

2011-11-07T23:37:00.000-06:00

My Aim Is Different

2011-11-06T20:54:00.000-06:00

I be feeling like real niggas don't make it to 50.
And I be feeling Malcolm, Martin and Pac would defend me...

Don't Hold Your Applause
by Wale
on Ambition

What I Need From You Is Understanding

2011-11-06T19:46:00.000-06:00

The facts of life I didn't learn from watching Tootie, but living in the big city.

But I still like Tootie cause she got big titties...

Sum Shit I Wrote
by Common
on Resurrection

Walk In

2011-11-06T16:23:00.000-06:00

What is this shit?